So… Yesterday was our Season 20 Bachelor Fantasy Draft. This is big stuff people!
What is this magical nonsense you ask?? Oh you didn’t? Too bad…
Well basically, every week I get together with a group of friends to watch “The Bachelor”. At the beginning of the season we draft teams, and as the season goes on, our teams compete against each other for points and eventually the person with the highest scoring team wins the championship title.
I know what you’re thinking. “That sounds amazing! How does it work?” And let me tell you… you are SO right! It IS amazing. But before I explain the whole process, let me give you some background. So it all started in the year 2002, when “The Bachelor” premiered. Contrary to popular belief, I’ve been a pretty avid viewer of “The Bachelor” since I was in junior high. I know what you’re thinking (I know what you’re thinking “gosh, she really claims to know what I’m thinking all the time. You don’t know me!! You don’t know my life!!” and you’re right. I don’t know you… I’m just psychic) Anyways… I know what you’re thinking, “that show is like super cheesy and mushy and isn’t it scripted??” Maybe that’s true. But I choose to believe that “The Bachelor” is totally real. Because I have faith in the mental diversity of humanity. I believe that men and women alike are AAALLLLLL kinds of crazy. And there’s no better showcase of this crazy spectrum on television than “The Bachelor”.
So like I said, I’ve been watching this show since I was a kid. My mom watched it seriously. She thought it was romantic and beautiful and I thought it was just pure entertainment. Still do! However I stopped watching for a couple years and totally forgot about it until one day, my friend was watching an episode of Matt Grant’s season in 2008. So I sat down and watched it with her and we just had the best time. We were laughing at the weirdos and getting angry at the crazies that “weren’t there to make friends”. We had so much fun that we decided to make it a regular thing. So we got together every week and had a Bachelor viewing party. Soon, both of us were obsessed. It became the highlight of our week. We had so much fun joking around and making our own ridiculous commentary throughout the show. We’d give each contestant a nickname to help us remember their names. We still do this til this day. It’s one of my favorite parts of the show. Ooh I’ll list some of the recent one’s and you can try to see if you know who it is!
Juan Pablo’s Season
John C Reilly
Who the heck is she?
Gay Ryan Gosling
(answers at the bottom)
But back to my story… so naturally we would pick our favorites and cheer them on til the end and hope that they win and get mad when they don’t. We would fervently watch the season preview trailer over and over again taking notes of details like: What was the color of the winner’s dress? What did her nails look like when they put on the ring? Different voices saying “I love you”, who was that? Who causes drama? Who gets drunk? Who goes home? We would take notes to try to predict what would happen throughout the season. And this became a tradition where we would just watch “The Bachelor” together, every single time. Unfortunately the tradition went on hold as life separated us for a few years. That didn’t stop us from calling and messaging each other with commentary on each episode, but it just wasn’t the same. So when we both moved back home, we were very excited to restart our old tradition again. This time we invited one of our friends to watch it with us and he quickly fell in love. Yes. I said “he”. He is a guy. And no he’s not gay. I don’t think… He just has good taste in TV shows. And friends.
So the three of us watched it together every week. We made a party out of it. We’d take turns buying dinner and talk throughout the whole show. One season we decided to make predictions on the top three contestants and see who got closest at the end of the season. As each year went by, the game evolved. We started building teams. We started coming up with a point system. We invited more friends. Now we have a full fledged legitimate Bachelor Fantasy League. Okay so that sounded a lot cooler and climactic in my head. But reading it back, it just sounds pretty ridiculous… But trust me! It’s super cool. It’s hard core competitive and cutthroat. We are ruthless! Also, it just makes the show SO much more exciting.
So this is how it all works…
First we all get together and watch the season premiere. Nothing happens in this episode. No teams. No points. Purely data collection. We each watch the episode, meet the contestants, make comments, create nicknames, and take tons of mental notes. At the end of the episode we draft teams.
The draft order is decided by how each of us ranked in the previous season. The person with the lowest points gets first draft, second lowest is second, third is third, and so on until the winner of the last season goes last. Then we snake it back around making picks until we each have an equal amount of people on our teams. (so it goes A, B, C, D, D, C, B, A, A, B, C, and so on). Once the draft begins, each person has 5 minutes to make their pick. This is serious. We will time you. If you go past the 5 minutes, you get skipped and you have to pick from the leftovers at the end. Once everyone has their teams, the draft ends. This year we added a new feature we call our “Hail Mary Pick”. So once the teams are drafted we each pick the one contestant that we think is going to win the final rose. It doesn’t matter which team they’re on. We picked one and sent the name to my brother, who will then reveal the choices to us after the season finale. The idea is that at the end of it all, this last “Hail Mary” can be a game changer. This is our first year trying it out, but it sounds promising.
Prior to watching the second episode, we each pick 2 contestants (regardless of teams) that we think are going home that night. We usually text each other our picks, just to make sure that no one forgets and so that there’s no cheating.
-You get +1 point for each contestant that goes home, that you predicted correctly.
-If any of your team members get sent home, you get -1 point.
So if you predicted that someone on your team was gonna be sent home that night and they actually do get sent home, you break even and get 0 points. No gain. No loss.
-You also get +1 point if someone on your team wins a group rose.
Those are the main ways to gain or lose points each week. But there are a few miscellaneous points you can get for random things.
-You start off with +1 point at the beginning of the season, if one of your team members won the final rose last season (Daniel had Shawn last season, so he’s starting with an extra point)
-You also start off with +1 point at the beginning of the season, if your old team member is now the current Bachelor or Bachelorette. (Meliss had Ben H. on her team last season, so she’s starting with an extra point)
-Oh and you also can get +1 point at any time in the season, if someone on your team has sex with the Bachelor or Bachelorette outside of the fantasy suite. So far only Nick has delivered on this prize, but I’m crossing my fingers for this season!
-And of course, as I mentioned earlier, you get +1 point at the end of the season if you “Hail Mary Pick” was correct
There are no real rules for the trades. You can trade players. You can trade draft picks. For example, last year, my friend traded Jonathan Holloway + his 3rd round draft pick, for Nick Viall. It was a pretty fantastic trade. Why anyone would give up Nick Viall is beyond me. Nick was prime time realty last season! You just knew he was gonna get to the top three! But I digress… So like I said, you can trade players, draft picks, a bag of chips, a ride to the airport, anything! My friend gave me his 3rd round draft pick for dancing with some dude at a bar. I mean picks are as good as money. Oh shoot, I danced on some dude for money. Does that make me a stripper? Whatever… it was SO worth it. Anyways, back to trades! Just as long as both parties are in agreement and come to some sort of understood contract. Shake on it and it’s done.
So last year, we ended the season with a 3-way tie. The points just happened to work out that way. So to break the tie, we all decided to buy a rose and go around the circle picking one petal each, until we ran out of petals. The person with the last petal won it all. It was cheesy and ridiculous, so naturally it was the right thing to do. As we went around the circle, I nearly pissed my pants I was so nervous. But in the comeback kid story of the ages, I picked the last petal and won the championship! Then I threw all of the fallen petals in the loser’s face as I yelled “I WIN I WIN I WIN I’M THE CHAMPION” and danced around in a circle. It was very classy.
This season’s draft went pretty well. No one got skipped and everyone was within their time limit. Since there are 5 of us and 21 girls, one girl did get leftover. We usually just give her to my brother, who doesn’t participate in the league at all, but he does watch episodes with us from time to time. Last year, he actually had 2 girls on his team. One of them was Kale’s mom. I don’t know what her actual name is anymore. We’d always just call her Kale’s mom. She was that weird one with a kid named Kale. She believed in aliens and had that like Mayan wedding on Bachelors in Paradise? Well anyways, her. She actually got pretty far for a leftover! She was beating out some of our 2nd round picks! If he ever wins… oh my gosh, we’re gonna have to buy him a steak dinner or something, ‘cause that’d be kinda amazing.
So yeah, this year, I ended up with an okay team. It kinda sucked since I was last in the draft order (BECAUSE I’M THE CURRENT REIGNING CHAMPION), buuuuut I think I picked some decent B+ girls that will hopefully surprise us later on. I’d been waiting for the draft all week. We had to do it on Friday, because Meliss lives in Miami and due to work, she couldn’t watch the show until Thursday night. So instead of drafting right after the show, we had to wait around for a few days and it was TORTURE. In the meantime I did a little research. It was pretty difficult to study the trailer because all of his girls are blonde! Like Ben definitely has a type dude. So it was hard to distinguish between all the blondes and did I mention there are twins?? SO they all look the same to me. Oh and there are like 15 Lauren’s, so that doesn’t help either. In any case, this is the team I ended up with:
Amanda, Leah, Jubilee, and Haley
What do you think?
They were extremely difficult choices man. Jubilee was kinda tough. In the preview, it looks like she might be a contender, but to be honest it’s always scary to pick a minority because they don’t usually last that long. No racism here! But purely historically and statistically, they just usually end up going home by the third episode. So, I’m taking a gamble here with Jubilee… I think Amanda might be a good one. Get her on a group date, she’ll tell him that she’s a mom, and he’ll realize how much she’s giving up just to be on the show with him… she’ll get me a group date rose for sure!
Overall I’m really excited about my team. Hopefully I do really well at my weekly guesses and just slowly gain points towards the end. Because slow and steady wins the race. It’s not necessarily about the strength of your team, but it’s more about the weekly grind. And possibly a really good trade… hmm… Oh what’s that? You’re stranded and you need me to come and jumpstart your car? I WANT LAUREN B!
And so the tradition continues… it’s absolutely the highlight of my week. We get to compete and trash talk while watching this crazy show and rooting for the weirdest people we’ve never meet before. It’s just so much fun and the game changes the whole dynamic of the show. I get an excuse to hang out with 3 of my really good friends (should be 4, but Miami decided to steal my best friend, but that’s beside the point), eat good food, and watch this show with some of the funniest people I know. Week after week I just laugh til my stomach hurts. That counts as a weekly work out right? So cheers to “The Bachelor” for bringing us together and giving us something to look forward to every week.
Stick around to hear more about “the most dramatic season yet”!
P.S. So how do you watch the show? Any new ideas are always welcome! Our games changes every year, so if you have any great ideas on things to add, I’d love to hear it 🙂
P.P.S. Oh and here are the answers to the nicknames:
Juan Pablo’s Season
Trey’s mom – Cassandra Ferguson
Opera – Sharleen Joynt
Dog Lover – Kelly Travis
Free Spirit – Lucy Aragon
Cookie monster – Marquel Martin
Farmer John – Chris Soules
John C Reilly – Nick Viall
Lil Kim – Ashley Iaconetti
Dead eyes – Ashley Salter
Who the heck is she? – Samantha Steffen
Kentucky – Joe Bailey
Better Ben – Ben Zorn
Other Ben – Ben Higgins (yeah yeah I know he’s the bachelor now, but Ben Z was definitely hotter)
Gay Ryan Gosling – Shawn Booth (my friend had him on his team last year, but I was in New Orleans when the finale aired, so he literally texted me at 1am (10pm his time) saying “GAYYYY RYANNN GOSSSSSLLLLLIIIIINNNGGGGGG” to rub it in my face. I was so pissed)
How’d you do?